When I think back to the summer and the fears that I had about winter, I realize that none of them were true . I would picture winter in a hospital with Jesse on his death bed or a cold winter day huddled by a grave opening. Far too often I have let those fears capture my mind but they are absolutely a lie.  When I let my mind run free the devil has a hay day with me. None of us are untouched from thoughts of fear but it's what we choose to do with those fears that makes the difference.  When we let them run free we are paralyzed by fear but when we take our thoughts captive to Christ they start to flee and realize they weren't true.

We are destroying arguments and all arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,— 2 Corinthians 10:5

Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.- Romans 12: 1-2

As Jesse and I reflected on 2022 we shared with each other how it was the hardest yet best year of our lives. We got to fully live this past year like we never have. We experienced the true meaning of Jesus Christ and what surrendering every area of our lives looks like.  We discussed undiscussable conversations and moved forward. We haven't let fear cripple us in the"what if" scenarios; but even if those" what if's" do come, God has taught us that He gives exactly what we need when we need it.

Certain things  are trigger points in my mind when fear can start creeping in. Passing the building Jesse was diagnosed in and remembering every single detail; the poster on the wall to magazines on the desk. When we walk into the cancer clinic and see the sign my stomach can start to tighten but I'm learning to take those thoughts and toss them out. I love the song by Zach Willams called "Fear Is A Liar." 

"He will take your breath

Stop you in your steps

Fear, he is a liar

He will rob your rest

Steal your happiness

Cast your fear in the fire

'Cause fear, he is a liar"

Satan is the father of lies and will steal our joy if we let him. 

You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he tells a lie, he speaks from his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of lies.-John 8:44

I also wanted to encourage you to take some time to discuss the "undiscussable" issues in 2023. Jesse and I have learned to talk about hard things this past year, things that no one ever wants to think about but we're thankful we have . We are grateful that God's faithfulness led us to get life insurance when we first got married and that we have an up to date will for the "just in case." None of us know when that "just in case" might come into play. We've talked about funerals, remarriage and our last wishes all the conversations that make the tears flow. It's real life but again we're so very good at avoiding these topics in our culture. Lord willing we all have 12 new chapters this year that we can choose a part of what happens during them.  

We had a beautiful Christmas break together that was relaxing and filled with quality time. Jesse has been busy working on a greenhouse and dreaming of spring gardening . He continues to feel well although the chemo side effects are taking him longer to bounce back from. We see God's hand moving in our lives in all the details, from the weather for traveling to appointments being good to keeping Jesse healthy from all the colds and viruses going around. Jesse will have 2 more chemo treatments before his CT scan on Feb 22. After that we will reevaluate and see where things are at.

Thanks again for all your prayers and support on this journey. We hope you had a wonderful Christmas season and pray that you experience the love of Jesus like never before in 2023.

In Christ,

Jesse and Jenn 

Zach Williams Fear is a Liar:

https://youtu.be/sQTnREEtuNk

https://youtu.be/nPDzQyk76PQ

We've shared this one before but wanted to share again. This song is so special to us, brings us right back to the beginning of our journey:

https://youtu.be/tCOxytz0XmQ








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