Let There Be Light

 Recently we had the privilege of being beside a dear friend as she passed away.  I sat with this friend and we talked about our fears and hopes. She was a mentor and fellow farmer who we dearly loved. After being re-diagnosed with cancer, we watched her body fade and our life perspective was again refocused. That will be us one day , our body fading away from this life into the eternal life with our King.  How quickly we forget what this life is about and jump back on that hamster wheel, just doing the motions of life. I’ll be honest, life has gone back to a somewhat normal state for us and I tend to forget what the Lord has taught me. I can get side tracked with money, our business, the next to do or about myself. I thank God for the opportunity to be beside this dear friend and have our focus narrowed down again to what really matters.  I wonder how often we forget the things that Christ did for us. Thinking back to the initial months after we found out Jesse had ...

God has been teaching me lately about His character of never changing. Our lives are uncertain; whether it’s the economy or our health things are always changing. The only thing that stays the same is God. I may lose my husband to cancer one day, I may lose all that I  own or my country may one day not  be "glorious and free" but one thing remains; God will always  be, He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I’m so thankful for these truths in our lives as we continue to walk the unknowns. We can rest in the immovable Rock and find our strength in His everlasting arms. His grace is sufficient for us each day, one single moment at a time. God doesn’t promise to take our suffering away. He doesn't promise that I’ll  always have a husband but he does promise “my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭19‬ ‭NIV‬‬ Our circumstances in life will continue to change but they will never alter the un...

  It’s been a year, a whole year since that nasty word “cancer” entered into our lives. I’ll never forget that day of being told that “we” had cancer. I say we because Jesse and I are one and it affects both of us in so many ways. We can both still picture the exact moment of being told it was cancer and it all comes back like it was yesterday. But it’s been a year; a year we didn’t think we would have together at the beginning of this journey, a year we’re both so grateful for.  I see that it was a year full of life. A life giving season, and a brand new start. As we enter into spring, a new season with new beginnings this past year for us was a season of spring. We sprung into things we never imagined would be in our lives. The darkness of our trials has brought us to a place of beautiful blossom like the spring tulips emerging out of the cold ground. The spring like rains are necessary in order for those tulips to bloom. It’s been a season of growth for both of us as we’ve ...

As I sit in front of our wood stove late at night my mind thinks of the word simplicity and what that looks like. Jesse and I have been together for almost 15 years now. We started dating when I was young and I look back at all those sweet memories. Our dating years consisted of milking cows together, field work, chores and the odd dinner out. I’ve always gone to bed early and most evenings I would kick Jesse out by 8 pm to be in bed by 9. I look back on those years and wouldn’t trade them for anything, the word simple comes to mind when I ponder them . How do we get back to a life of simplicity? I was thinking about my sweet Grandma Vis and that generation of parents. The simple yet hard life they lived on the farm. Removed from technology and just the simple life. Canning on hot summer days, tending the garden to feed all those mouths, making sure the straw and hay got in on time....the "good ole days."  As our world advances in all things technology I can’t help but long t...

 When I think back to the summer and the fears that I had about winter, I realize that none of them were true . I would picture winter in a hospital with Jesse on his death bed or a cold winter day huddled by a grave opening. Far too often I have let those fears capture my mind but they are absolutely a lie.  When I let my mind run free the devil has a hay day with me. None of us are untouched from thoughts of fear but it's what we choose to do with those fears that makes the difference.  When we let them run free we are paralyzed by fear but when we take our thoughts captive to Christ they start to flee and realize they weren't true. We are destroying arguments and all arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,— 2 Corinthians 10:5 Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service...

As the Christmas season is upon us many emotions run through our minds. Setting up the tree was beautiful but also had sorrow, will Jesse be here next Christmas? Why does this have to be so hard, Lord? We really are living in two worlds and it's a strange thing to balance. In one sense Jesse is feeling so well and normal that our life is normal(which is such a blessing.) But on the other hand, heading to appointments, stepping foot in Juravinski for follow ups with specialists, being told the chance of cure from this is very rare...it's kinda like a gut punch every time we hear those words . We should be used to those words by now but it never gets easier. Yesterday we had a follow up with the colon specialist. The first time we met with her she was very optimistic and wasn't sure that the spot on Jesse's lung was cancer. But yesterday she said that it definitely was cancer and because of that less options are open in the future such as surgery to remove the primary tum...

 It blows me away how fast time goes. How cancer has become our "new normal" so quickly and how we've settled into our routines.  Cancer is part of our lives right now but we've made a choice for it not to overtake our lives. It's all about perspective and the choice to continue to live amidst our circumstances.  We were playing a game the other night and as we flipped the hour glass over for each person's turn, I pictured our lives. How the sand in that hour glass is each one of our days. We don't know when that sand will run out and when our days will come to an end. We may think we have all this sand left but it could be the last grain, our last day. Jesse's diagnosis has taught us to live fully and embrace life. It's funny how we have to look death in the eyes before we fully start to live. When we touch eternity we begin to see all things simply (Corrie ten boom). We give all the glory to our Lord Jesus for this update! Jesse had a CT scan rec...